First comes love, then comes marriage, then come all of the babies in the baby carriage&maybe later.

A few (I have seven) of my nephews at my October wedding.

My husband and I have been married for a little over nine monthsjust the time frame of a full-term pregnancy. We had dated for nearly eight years by the time we tied the proverbial knot. And then it began....

Questions and comments like When are you two going to have kids? and You dont want to be an old mother came flying out of the unfiltered mouths of family and friends. And to my response of Steve and I really would like to have five years together to travel, become financially secure, and enjoy married life before we add a life-altering mini-human to our world came reminders of incessant marching tick-tocks of the clock. This past weekend, my five-month-pregnant, 33-year-old sister suggested that I hurry up, because this one [pointing to her stomach] needs cousins her age! This coming all from love, of course!

In reality, I never mind when people ask, because I enjoy chatting about babies and married life. But I also want to impress on others that everyone is different. Many couples are ready and willing to be parents immediatelyand thats great! But, on the other hand, there are lots of people in my boat who wantas one of my friends (and a new father) told me yesterdayto live it up as much as possible because a baby changes everything. And Im not ready for that change.

Leslie Prideaux
Assistant Director of Alumni Programs
leslie-prideaux@uiowa.edu