August 2004

Alex Suha • Catching on Quickly

I started juggling yesterday. I’ll get it eventually, just “throw, throw, throw,” That is, don’t think about catching it, just throw what’s in your hand. In my creative work, I've always had a habit of trying to do things quickly, to plow through things once, in one day, and be done with it. I’m working on that.

Someday this summer—like later today, I hope—I will finish something. I try to finish some writing, a book, an audition piece, so I can spend the rest of the day blissfully satisfied 'cause I've worked and expressed myself.

In Iowa City, the work is challenging. It's imposed on me through my classes, and it is CONSTANT, as well as naturally long-term. Here, Wheeling doesn't ask that of me. I have no projects due. I don't have to be off-book by tomorrow. I don’t have to be ON-book unless I feel like it. I've got a lot more time here than in Iowa City—and I'm not using it for anything because no one is telling me to.

Of course, no one should HAVE to tell me to practice my juggling every day, or to get started on my fall audition. It’s a big difference, and here, I am different. Seems like the grass is always greener on the other side of the Mississippi. In Iowa, I walk home from rehearsal with sore feet and wonder what it's like to sleep eight hours again. In Illinois, I sleep for fun and dream of the next show.

I’ll probably start juggling in an hour.

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