October 2004

James Ehrmann • The Lazy Days of Summer

The clock on my bookcase reads 10 a.m. I crawl out of bed, stagger to the bathroom, stub my toe on the door, and have a staring contest with myself in the mirror. I lose. Today is the first day in the final week of July, and I spend five minutes of it looking at myself and thinking of what this summer could have been for me: productive and profitable.

I could be working at Hy-Vee grocery store for the third year, packing up fried chicken and serving coffee to retired men. Instead, I decided I was much too cool to keep my high school job. I could be selling concessions at the local pool; I could be going door to-door on behalf of President Bush; I could be giving summer tours to prospective students at Iowa—but I’m not.

I head downstairs, crack open a can of Mountain Dew, neglecting to eat breakfast (hey, lunch is realistically only about an hour away), and begin to toil away at the puzzles in the newspaper. Today should be promising, as all the puzzles are easier at the beginning of the week—plus, I just happen to be on a five-day hot streak with the daily Cryptoquote.

It is during this inactivity that I think of all the active things I could be doing this summer: tennis, basketball, running, swimming, gardening, mowing the lawn, biking.… Suddenly, biking seems like a great idea. I move outside to the garage and behold the bike dangling from the garage ceiling, tires lifeless without air. This will be a lot of work: too much work for today.

Perhaps one of the shining lines of defense for the “James Ehrmann Is Completely Worthless this Summer” trial are the two classes that I’m taking at Scott Community College. “Introduction to Literature” and "Western Civilization” occupy my time, and I convince myself that a summer student needn’t be burdened with the extra hassle of a job.

When I start feeling bad again about being unemployed, I just tell myself—and all my critical friends—that I’ll spend the fall semester hard at work, easily compensating for this summer of inactivity and perceived laziness. I just hope I can live up to that statement.

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